GFL – Page 0026

Grouping For Looks is a page-by-page retelling of the Looking For Group saga through the lens of a mirror universe where Cale is a goateed tyrant and Richard is a holy soul trying to set him on a good path.

INT. STOLL’S TENT – DAY

Atop a golden throne, surrounded by weasley trolls patting him on the back, sits STOLL, a portly and orange-skinned troll with a topknot combover. The troll lord looks down on the prisoners Tim and Styx brought him with as much content as he regards his own soldiers. 

STOLL
Tim? You know what I think of the Wanderers. You see them? You kill them. Isn’t that so simple? Why have you brought these lowlife losers before me? 

Tim bends a knee and hangs his head. 

TIM
I’m sorry, Mr Lord Stoll. You’re right Mr Lord Stoll. But they have word of gnome treachery. 

STOLL
Of course they do. Didn’t I say it? Wasn’t I the first to say that those dummy gnomes are a problem? I said it first, I said it best, everyone knows that. 

CALE
Wait, then who signed the agreement with the gnomes? 

STOLL
I did. Frankly, it was one of the greatest deals ever signed. Just incredible. And we got way more out of it than they did, believe me. I was talking to Tim, Tim, you remember, about-

An axe digs deep into Stoll’s chest, toppling the troll lord and killing him instantly. Krunch, clinging to the tip of the hilt, rides the axe end over end, shoulder rolling across the throne room floor. 

Cale, Tim, and Styx regard the minotaur, dumbfound. 

KRUNCH
I’m sorry. I could not take another page and a half of that. 

TIM
Yeah, no, we get it. 

The four stand around, shifting their heels and avoiding eye contact. 

CALE
So… think we’ll end up allies in this continuity? 

Styx shrugs.

GFL Archives

Original: LFG Page 26
First Grouping For Looks: GFL 001
Previous Grouping For Looks: GFL 025