GFL – Page 0001
Grouping For Looks is a page-by-page retelling of the Looking For Group saga through the lens of a mirror universe where Cale is a goateed tyrant and Richard is a holy soul trying to set him on a good path.
EXT. FOREST DIRECTLY OUTSIDE OF TOWN – DAY
CALE, a tall, slender elf with a blonde mullet, black goatee, eyebrows almost as long as his ridiculously pointy ears, and murder in his eyes, stands atop a tree stump. The forest behind burning with flames as red as the tunic he’ll be wearing for 40 pages, tops.
Extending his 2 fiery short swords in either direction, he sneers at the teary, fleeing woodland creatures.
CALE
Greetings, world.
I am Cale’anon The Young and Bold. I seek to become the greatest ruler history has ever known.
He clutches a helpless blue budgie close to his toothy grin, the bird unable to budge despite its breed.
CALE
I will feast on the distress-
RICHARD
Excuse me.
A gold ring lights up a shadow behind Cale, illuminating RICHARD, a tall, white-skinned (as in cmyk 0%, 0%, 0%, 0%, not a melanin-typical historic European) man in pearl and golden robes. He clutches a thick tome with a dozen silk book marks protruding from its pages. Cale challenges Richard with a glare as piercing as the arrows stowed in a quiver in a way that you just have to trust me that they’re piercing.
RICHARD
I couldn’t help overhear, mostly because I was thinking of asking you if you’re heard the good words of our lords and saviours, but I think you’re a bit on the confused side.
CALE
Explain yourself, stranger.
Richard gestures towards Cale, who doesn’t seem to understand.
RICHARD
I don’t know if you’ve looked in the mirror recently, but hurting people in distress isn’t the sort of thing your kind does.
CALE
How dare you?
Richard continues to explain, but his eyes wide and bright, hiding a lot of frustration. Cale crosses his arms, amused by the indignity of this clothy.
RICHARD
Instead of holding an aged dwarf woman underwater, you should be helping her get home safe until your heart can’t get warmer.
CALE
Oh? Why?
RICHARD
Blonde, athletic, traditionally handsome. You are the prototypical protagonist.
CALE
I’m not following you.
RICHARD
Maybe a visual aid would help.
Richard scoops up a burning bunny, surely a choice of animal that won’t cause confusion if the future.
Cale looks the writing bunny in the eyes.
CALE
How does it feel, little guy.
A yellow glow emitting from Richard’s palm extends around the bunny. Fire extinguishes, burns heal, fur regrows, hope returns to the bunny’s eyes.
CALE strokes his goateed chin contemplatively.
CALE
Is there any chance he owed you a debt that he could never repay from beyond the grave?
RICHARD
No, but it does bring to mind the delightful story of all the forgiveness and charity I do daily.
TH’END
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Original: LFG Page 01