GFL – Page 0027

Grouping For Looks is a page-by-page retelling of the Looking For Group saga through the lens of a mirror universe where Cale is a goateed tyrant and Richard is a holy soul trying to set him on a good path.

INT. STOLL’S TENT – DAY

Krunch stands over the axe-bisected corpse of Lord Stoll, who clearly died before his time. He’s barely bigger than the dead troll’s navel, but only because Stoll’s impressive abs contracted it. Krunch could make a boat out of that belly button if Stoll weren’t so swoll. 

Tim and Styx look to each other for answers but only find more questions, like how in Spanish a question begins and ends with a question mark, which I always thought was a good idea. Why is punctuation that denotes tone at the end of the sentence?

Cale, seeing the trolls flatfooted, reaches for the hilts of his swords protruding from Tim’s sack. As his fingers brush the pommel, his long elven ears clue into a distant whistling sound. 

Cale dives to safety as a flaming boulder WHOOMS into the ground just outside the tend. A explosion knocks Cale’s swords from Tim’s bag and splits the ground between Cale and the trolls like the axe through Stoll’s chest. 

STYX
Fire rocks? 

TIM
But whom’s? And why? 

Inside the tent, Cale fashions a lasso. 

CALE
I guess Richard changed his stance on fireballing our enemies. 

KRUNCH
I’m not so sure. Time to don my armour. 

CALE
What armour?

Krunch removes the axe from Stoll and slips into the cavity in his chest. As organs slosh about and a lump on Stoll’s travels up his neck, Cale turns green. But not as green as Krunch’s new flesh mech. 

From inside the troll’s skull, Krunch punches out one of Stoll’s red eyes. The minitaur pulls on two handfuls of tendons, making the dead troll rise to his feet. 

Cale, untying his recovered swords, and Krunch in his flesh suit, emerge from Stoll’s tent. 

STYX
Stoll! You alive? Yay! 

KRUNCH
Status report, soldier. 

STYX
Da gnomes! It’s da gnomes!

CALE
I thought the gnome betrayal was a lie. 

KRUNCH
Indeed. But it doesn’t seem to have been our lie alone. 

Trolls scatter as more flaming boulders pepper their camp, crushing their ranks. Cale and Krunch prepare to go on the offensive. 

GFL Archives

Original: LFG Page 27
First Grouping For Looks: GFL 001
Previous Grouping For Looks: GFL 026